FOR THINGS TO CHANGE, YOU HAVE TO CHANGE: YOUR BREAK THROUGH STARTS WITH YOU

Written by Joan Nakagwe 

(Joan@Journey to wealth)

“For things to change, you have to change. For things to get better, you have to get better.” —Jim Rohn 

 Have you ever felt like you’re doing everything right—but life isn’t moving forward?

You’re working hard, trying different things, staying busy… yet you’re still broke, burned out, behind on your goals. Are you feeling stuck? Like you’re running on a treadmill, putting in the effort but ending up in the same place day after day? Maybe your career feels stagnant, your relationships are strained, or you’re simply not feeling the joy you once did. You might be wishing for a magic wand to wave and make everything better. But what if the key to unlocking the change you desire lies not in the external world, but within you?

The simple truth is this: For things to change, you have to change. For things to get better, you have to get better.

It’s a concept that might seem obvious on the surface, yet it’s often the last place we look when faced with frustration. We tend to focus on external factors – the difficult boss, the uncooperative partner, the challenging circumstances. And while these external elements can undoubtedly play a role, placing all our hopes on them changing independently is often a recipe for disappointment and continued pain.Your outer world is a reflection of your inner world.

If you want better results, you must become someone who creates better results.

This is the personal revolution no one talks about—but it’s the only way out of stuckness.

🔥 Why Blaming the Outside World Keeps You Stuck ( And How To Break the Pattern)

Here’s what keeps people repeating the same year over and over:

• Waiting for “the right time”
• Blaming external factors (the economy, family, bad luck)
• Trying to change everything except themselves

🛑 Truth bomb: Change isn’t something you wait for. It’s something you become.

Think about it. How much control do you really have over your boss’s personality? Or your partner’s communication style? Or even the broader economic conditions affecting your career? While you can certainly try to influence these things, ultimately, the power to change them resides outside of yourself.

When we fixate on external change, we often fall into a victim mentality. We feel powerless, waiting for someone or something else to make things right. This not only prolongs our suffering but also prevents us from taking the very actions that could lead to improvement.

The Empowering Truth: You Are the Catalyst

The empowering flip side of this reality is that you do have control over yourself. You have the capacity to change your mindset, your skills, your habits, and your responses to the world around you. And this internal shift is often the most powerful lever for creating the external changes you seek.

Let’s look at some common pain points and how this principle applies: 

 Career Frustration: Feeling overlooked or stuck in a dead-end job? Instead of solely blaming your company or manager, ask yourself: What new skills can I acquire? How can I improve my performance? Am I effectively communicating my value? By focusing on your own development, you become a more valuable asset and open doors to new opportunities, even within your current role.

 Relationship Struggles: Are you constantly arguing with your partner or feeling disconnected from loved ones? While their actions contribute, consider your own communication patterns, your willingness to listen, and your capacity for empathy. By improving these aspects within yourself, you can shift the dynamic of your relationships for the better.

 Lack of Fulfillment: Feeling like something is missing in your life? Instead of waiting for external circumstances to bring you joy, explore your passions, identify your values, and take steps to align your life with them. This internal work will create a sense of purpose and fulfillment that no external event can provide on its own.

 Overwhelming Stress and Anxiety: Are you constantly feeling stressed and overwhelmed by the demands of life? While external pressures exist, consider your coping mechanisms, your ability to set boundaries, and your commitment to self-care. By developing healthier internal strategies, you can navigate external stressors with greater resilience.

Taking the First Step: SmallChanges, Big Impact 

The idea of changing yourself might feel daunting, but it doesn’t have to be an overnight transformation. Real and lasting change often starts with small, consistent steps. Here are some ways to begin:

🧘‍♀️ Self-Reflection: Take some time for honest introspection. What aspects of your life are causing you pain or dissatisfaction? What role are you currently playing in these situations?
🎯 Identify Areas for Growth: Once you have a clearer picture, pinpoint specific areas where you believe personal growth could lead to positive change in your external reality.

You don’t rise to the level of your dreams.

You rise to the level of your skills, habits, and mindset.

Want more income? Learn more valuable skills.

Want more peace? Master your emotions.

Want more success? Build stronger systems.

Here are the top areas where upgrading yourself leads to real change: 

Area to Improve	Impact on Life
Self-discipline	Better habits, consistency
Financial literacy	Control over money, savings,    investing
Communication	Better relationships and business deals
Mindset	Resilience, confidence, clarity
Focus & productivity	Get more done in less time

📌 Start Simple: Choose 1 skill1 or Habit and improve it daily for 30 days. Watch everything shift.

 📈   Set Small, Achievable Goals: Don’t try to overhaul everything at once. Focus on one or two manageable goals. For example, if you want to improve your communication, start by actively listening in your next conversation.

 📚Seek Knowledge and Support:  There are countless resources available to help you grow – books, courses, mentors, therapists. Don’t hesitate to seek guidance and support on your journey.

 🧠 Practice Self-Compassion: Change takes time and effort. Be patient with yourself, acknowledge your progress, and learn from setbacks without harsh judgment.

💰 Solve Real Problems = Real Value = Real Money

If you’re struggling financially or in business, here’s the key:

👉 Stop chasing money. Start solving problems.

Every dollar you earn is a reward for value delivered.

And value comes from growth.

✅ Become more useful.

✅ Become more creative.

✅ Become more disciplined.

When you grow, your offers, ideas, and impact improve—leading to higher income and opportunity.

🎯 Identify the Real Problem — You Are the Foundation

You don’t have a money problem.

You have a discipline problem.

You don’t have a business problem.

You have a consistency problem.

You don’t have a time problem.

You have a priority problem.

You can’t expect different results by staying the same. So, ask yourself:

• What habits are sabotaging my progress?
• Where am I avoiding responsibility?
• What kind of person do I need to become to reach my next level?

🚀 Change Is Not a One-Time Thing — It’s a Lifestyle

Changing your life is not about:

• One big moment
• One lucky break
• One viral post

It’s about small shifts made consistently:

• Reading 10 pages a day
• Waking up early to work on your dream
• Saying no to distractions
• Investing in your skills instead of buying new clothes

You are always one decision away from a totally different life.

The Ripple Effect of Personal Growth 

The beauty of focusing on your own growth is that it often creates a positive ripple effect in your external world. As you become more skilled, more confident, and more resilient, you naturally attract better opportunities and healthier relationships. You become more equipped to navigate challenges and create the life you truly desire.

So, if you’re tired of things staying the same, take a courageous step inward. Embrace the power of personal growth. Because when you get better, things around you inevitably start to get better too. The change you’re seeking might just be waiting for the change within you.

💡 Final Thoughts: Stop Waiting. Start Becoming.

If your life, income, or happiness is not where you want it to be, don’t ask the world to change.

Ask yourself to change.

You don’t need a new job, new year, or new relationship.

You need a new level of you.

And once you get better, everything else gets better.

So today, commit to becoming the kind of person your goals require.

Because the most powerful transformation is always from the inside out.

🛠️ FREE BONUS: “The Daily Self-Upgrade Checklist”

Want a simple 5-minute daily checklist to help you become more focused, more disciplined, and more powerful every day?

📩 Drop your email to get the Daily Self-Upgrade Checklist (PDF download) — your new morning routine for success.

Written by Joan Nakagwe 

(Joan@Journey to wealth)